Wool Roll Bread with Mia

 Aging is not for the young or faint of heart. It's brutal.

It's hard stumbling across the reflection of myself in a mirror with shock and sadness. "Who the heck is that?!" is usually my first thought, followed immediately with "I'm so old," when I realize it's me. Sigh.

And that's just it. Inside I still feel young. It's such a weird feeling to feel as though I'm an alien inside this body of mine that is more rapidly becoming unrecognizable. My wrinkles. The gray hair. Really, who is this woman?! 

My daughter took these pictures. My middle grand-girlie, Mia Violet, aka Mia-Moo, the smarter-than-me-2-year-old, helping grandma KeKe in the kitchen, making Filled Wool Roll Bread. I begged my daughter to just take Mia's picture and keep me out of it, but she said I would regret that years later. 

 

She's right.

 

I never thought of myself as particularly vain, but I was more focused on my gray hair than on capturing the most precious moments in time with my sweet little Mia; a memory I pray I don't forget as the years go by somehow faster than when I was younger. 

 

 

 

I am grateful for the gray hairs. I'm grateful to have the ability to spend these moments with my family that, quite frankly, mean more to me than anything else in life.  

 

I love being Mia and Faith's Grandma Keke and Iris's NiNi. This is life.

 

 

And  this Filled Wool Roll Bread is necessary in your life. 

 

 

 

 

 

Like now! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't wait another day to make this gem. It has a soft and ethereal bite and texture from the tangzhong starter that couldn't be easier to make. 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't let the appearance fool you. This bread is easy to make and oh, so forgiving! 

I started out making the bread last Sunday. I decided this would be my passion project while I dispassionately had to work on our income taxes. 

 

 

I made the tangzhong and popped it into the fridge where it sat untouched until the following weekend, patiently waiting to be useful. 

 

 

I filled the Wool Roll Bread with a cream cheese-nutella filing that ended up as a successful experiment. I recommend letting your imagination run wild when it comes to fillings, just make sure not to overfill the roll. As they say, less is more.

 

 

 

 

 

My bread was slightly adapted from the King Arthur recipe. I don't know why, but I ended up not having enough space in my 10" baking pan for the fourth section, so I improvised and curled it into a tight little bun in the middle. It was delightful!

Delicious!

Wool Roll Bread story: Did the bread come out perfect? Of course not. But was it delicious? You betcha. The time with Mia? Priceless.

Filled Wool Roll Bread

Tangzhong (starter)

• 3 tablespoons (43g) water
• 3 tablespoons (43g) milk, whole preferred
• 2 tablespoons (14g) King Arthur Unbleached Bread Flour

Dough

• 1/2 cup (113g) milk, whole preferred
• 1 large egg
• 4 tablespoons (57g) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 tablespoon (9g) instant yeast
• 1/4 cup (50g) granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon (6g) salt
• 2 1/2 cups (300g) King Arthur Unbleached Bread Flour

Filling

• half an 8-ounce package (113g) cream cheese, softened*
• 2 tablespoons (25g) granulated sugar
• zest (grated rind) of 2 medium lemons
• pinch of salt
• 2 tablespoons (4g) freeze-dried raspberries, lightly crushed
• 2 tablespoons (15g) King Arthur Unbleached Bread Flour

*The cream cheese should be at warm room temperature, at least 68°F.

Topping

• 2 tablespoons (28g) milk, whole preferred

1. To make the tangzhong: Combine all the ingredients in a small saucepan, and whisk until no lumps remain.

2. Place the saucepan over medium heat and cook the mixture, stirring regularly, until thickened, paste-like, and the spoon or spatula leaves lines on the bottom of the pan. This should take 2 to 4 minutes, depending on the strength of your burner.

3. Remove the tangzhong from the heat and transfer it to a large mixing bowl, the bowl of a stand mixer, or the bucket of a bread machine (whatever you plan to knead the dough in).

4. To make the dough: Weigh your flour; or measure it by gently spooning it into a cup, then sweeping off any excess. Place the flour into the bowl with the tangzhong and add the remaining dough ingredients. Mix to combine, then knead — by hand, mixer, or bread machine — until a soft, smooth dough forms, about 8 to 10 minutes on medium-low speed of a mixer. (The dough may be tacky and stick to the sides of the bowl slightly; that's OK.)

5. Shape the dough into a ball and let it rest in a lightly greased bowl, covered, for 60 to 90 minutes, until puffy but not necessarily doubled in bulk.

6. To make the filling: Combine the cream cheese, sugar, lemon zest, and salt, mixing until smooth.

7. Add the freeze-dried raspberries and flour, mixing until the berries are completely crushed and evenly distributed.

8. To assemble: On a lightly floured surface, gently deflate the dough, divide it into four pieces (about 170g each), and shape each piece into a ball.

9. Cover the dough and let rest for 10 minutes.

10. Line a 9”springform or a 9” round cake pan (at least 2” deep) with parchment and lightly grease the parchment.

11. Working with one piece of dough at a time, roll it into a 6” x 12” rectangle. If the dough begins to snap back during rolling, set it aside and begin rolling out the second piece. Return to the first piece to continue rolling it to the full size after a couple of minutes, giving the gluten a chance to relax.

12. Portion 2 heaping tablespoons of filling (about 50g) onto the top half of the rectangle. A tablespoon cookie scoop works well here; use two rounded scoops per piece of dough.

13. Position the rectangle so its 12” sides are vertical. Starting at the top, spread the filling across the entire width of the rectangle (leaving about 1/4” bare on each side) and down about 6” or 7”, leaving the bottom 5” to 6” bare. If the filling is difficult to spread, warm it in the microwave for 15 seconds and stir; check the consistency. Repeat, if necessary, until it's an easily spreadable consistency.

14. Using a bench or chef’s knife, cut the uncovered dough at the bottom into very thin strips (anywhere from 1/8” to 1/4" wide).

15. Fold the long edges of the rectangle in to prevent any filling from seeping out.

16. Starting from the filling-covered top and rolling toward the uncovered strips, roll the dough into a log about 6” long.

17. Lightly press the strips into the rolled log to secure. Place the log, seam-side down, into the bottom of the pan so it's snuggled up against the pan’s outside edge.

18. Repeat with the remaining pieces of dough, placing them into the pan to form a complete circle around the pan’s outside edge.

19. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

20. Cover the wool roll and let it rise for 60 to 75 minutes, until puffy.

21. To finish and bake the roll: Brush the roll with milk, being careful not to deflate the delicate dough.

22. Bake it for 28 to 32 minutes, until it’s golden brown on top; a digital thermometer inserted into the center of the loaf should read at least 190°F.

23. Remove the roll from the oven and cool it in the pan until you can transfer it safely to a rack to cool completely.

24. Storage information: Store leftover bread, well wrapped, at room temperature for several days.

Helpful Tips:

• The tangzhong starter can be made ahead of time. Simply cook it up (making a double, triple, or quadruple batch if you like, for future use) as instructed in steps 1 – 3. Remove from the heat and transfer to a small bowl, pressing a layer of plastic wrap over the top of the mixture to prevent a skin from forming. Cool to room temperature then store, covered, in the refrigerator for up to five days. When you’re ready to bake your Wool Roll Bread, use a heaping 1/3 cup (95g) tangzhong in the dough. Use warm milk when mixing the remaining dough ingredients; proceed with the recipe from step 4.

• Let your culinary imagination run wild with this recipe, since the sky is the limit for filling combinations. Cinnamon sugar? Chocolate? Butter and garlic? Pesto and cheese? Whether you go sweet or savory, don’t overload your bread with filling. Less is definitely more when working with this soft, pillowy dough.

 

 

Kitchen Confessions

 Oh, how I love a good, dense, magnificent brownie! If given a choice between cake, pies, ice cream, pretty much any cookie you can think of, hand's down my preferred choice will always be the humble brownie. Unless they have nuts. Oh boy, why go and ruin the perfection of a sinfully delectable, chocolatey brownie with anything that breaks the smoothness of the bite? I truly don't understand.

I mean, come on! Brownies rock whether out-of-the-oven-warm all gooey and naughty, or cold and fudge-like out of the fridge...brownies are what my dreams are made of. 

And I'm not really a sweets-person. Truly, give me bread or something salty any day. Rarely would I not choose a warm slice of freshly baked bread waiting to be slathered in butter over a brownie. In fact, I don't think that's ever happened.  But in the category of all things sweet and that give meaning to life, the humble brownie reins supreme. 

I have a confession, well maybe two. On second thought, I have three. 

I am sort of, oh, what would you call it, a neat-freak. My husband may have other adjectives to describe my obsession with all things clean and tidy, but I think you get the picture. I hate messes, wet counters, my hands sticky or dirty, and I'm a little obsessive compulsive about this. Again, my husband may have more to say about this, but unfortunately he's not here to share his side. 

 

Which leads me to my second confession: I have a love-hate relationship with cocoa powder. Oh, how much I love the pureness of good cocoa. I mean, come on! It's so versatile, and actually good for you. Dark and smooth, this simple ingredient is the base of so many delectibles.  A really good cocoa powder Not only adds a chocolate flavor to whatever you're making, but also adds such a delicious deep brown color to your baking or cooking. It's just so good, and so necessary when making brownies, which I love to bake. And eat. But I secretly dread using it. Why, you ask? 

 

Because cocoa really must be sifted, and sift cocoa is a messy endeavor (see confession #1). No matter how neat I try to be, cocoa ends up on the counters, the floor, my face and hair. 

What the heck?!

 

 

I think cocoa somehow knows I despise its messiness. It taunts me. 

 

 

 

Which only makes me love the final product of my messy labors that much more. 

                      These really are that good. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

               And you've been so good.

 

 

 

 

 

Do yourself a favor and make these brownies. They are beyond deli-sh and so worth the messy counter. And if you must add nuts, go ahead (just don't tell me about it). 

 

Oh, and confession #3? I lick the spoon. And bowl. Don't judge.

 

Holidays, Sanity, and a New Year

 Happy New Year, Y'all! Today is the first day of 2022 and, as with many folks, I look hopefully and gratefully onto a new year filled with opportunities, good health and great surprises. 

We moved to San Antonio Texas  in October of 2021, with plans and great ambitions to build our dream home on a gorgeous spread of land we purchased in Bulverde, Texas in February 2021. Our initial plans were, well, we really didn't have any initial plans or goals other than knowing that at some time in the future we would build on the land that sat peacefully across from our friends plot across the street. One conversation led to another about how rotten California was getting and how unbearable it was becoming to live in our sweet little town of Northridge. As the primary shopper and errand-runner, I saw much sooner how much our little town had changed in the course of a very short time to something I didn't recognize anymore. 

The night  fireworks - big fireworks - were set off behind our home at 11:00pm, startling me awake thinking that we had been bombed, I was ready to move! Fireworks had become a nightly occurrence, but never so close to home. Our trees on the back street were destroyed, burned to a crisp. Savages. But the homelessness, everywhere, was what pushed me over the edge. So many people with so much stuff littering the sidewalks just a block away from our home...and not being able to take a walk or ride to the store or outside of my little neighborhood was really not living a life I wanted to live. It was bad. When I went to our local grocery store to pick up a gallon of milk and driving by a homeless man with his shorts down to his ankles and pooping on the grass in front of anyone passing by on the busy intersection of Balboa and Devonshire, I had had enough! 

 California wasn't getting better, it was rapidly declining. We also realized that no matter when we began to build, we'd want to be in the general neighborhood of the build to keep an eye on things, which meant that at some time we'd need to make the move to Texas. by April, we set forth with a plan to sell our rental home, purchase a home in San Antonio, sell our home in Northridge and get the Hell out of California, which is exactly what we did and in that order!

Leaving the kids and grand-kids behind was unbearable, and something at the time I tried really hard not to think about, which was surprisingly easy with all the business, planning and details that had to be done selling, buying, and moving. All the friends and family we said our goodbyes to, it was hard. That entire time feels like fog; so much went on and so much to take care of to uproot our lives that the feeling and emotions of it all were so deeply suppressed in order to actually be able to do it! 

We drove back "home" to California to spend Thanksgiving with our family and visit friends. Oh, how I loved seeing everyone, and there's nothing better than grand-girlie hugs and giggles. I really thought I'd miss California more, but not true at all. Of course, I miss the mountains and familiar places, but California hasn't been MY California for a long time. I think that was what left me feeling the saddest of all. Not until moving out of that once great state and coming back to visit did I realize just how much California had changed from what I remembered it being my entire life. A certain melancholy has hung over me since then. I know I will always have my childhood memories and keepsakes kept hidden away in my heart, but I really don't know if I ever want to go back. It's too painful.

Christmas 2021 was the first Christmas not spent with my family. Even writing that line brought a swell of tears to my eyes. Christmas 2016 was the worst. The first year without mom, who was everything and all the holidays were wrapped up around, although I didn't realize just how much until that year. Her absence and the vacuum was left behind in her wake was the deepest, most painful cut of all. Christmas 2021 was just another cut to an already deep wound that will never completely heal. But isn't that what life is all about anyway? Moving on. Change. Growth. Love. Laughter. Sadness. Pain. Rebirth. It's all of this, and it keeps on keeping on. And with that, so do I.

This move to Texas was a leap of faith. The changes in our lifestyle. The changes in our work life, and the changes in our surroundings are all a good thing. Life is ever-evolving and there is so much life to live. It's painful, scary, exhilarating, and such a gift and blessing all at once. I have no regrets. The calmness of my new daily life has been like therapy in so many ways. My soul needed to slow down. While I don't know what this year will bring, I do know what I plan to bring to this year, and I'm ready for it.